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Some women prefer to have a lover with no child in past relationship because they say having step children may complicate the relationship. Besides, the children will share in the attention and resources of the man. But isn’t this reason selfish?
Honestly, my husband has a child with his first wife but I accepted him just the same because his ex family was in the US while we are here in the Philippines. But when his daughter came by for a visit, I felt so insecure and I don’t know why.
If I really love the man, I would accept everything about him, including his past, and his children from his previous relationship/s. When you truly love someone, you would also treat everything that's special to him right.
I can say that I was very lucky every time somehow there was a step-childre, step-parent situation in my family.
More like step-cousin and step-baby :)
And try to be as good with any future step-family members as I can.
When you love someone, you will also love the people he loves. If we stick to that rule, you would know what the answer is to your question. Besides, there is no way you can choose who to love. We wouldn't really know if the right person for us already have kids, so we just have to be ready to accept it.
If the person I loved had children from a prior relationship, I would be accepting of that. They cannot change the past and I love kids. Children are wonderful, but I would be weary of how I treated the child, in fear that someone would think I would trying to take the place of their biological parent. That would be my only concern. Other than fearing someone getting the wrong idea, I think that helping my significant other raise their child would be wonderful. I wouldn't mind spending time with the child and helping them to be a productive member of society. Children are also wonderful teachers. :)
There are certainly some complications when you enter into a relationship with a man who has a child/children from a previous marriage or relationship. However, if you truly love a person, you will have to deal with his past and his unique situation. I wouldn't mind having stepchildren and I'm sure I'd like them to feel loved by both parents and their extended families,specially when they're young and dealing with the pressures of school and their peers. In some cases, having stepchildren can help ease the pressure for a couple to produce children of their own specially when a spouse is barren or has health limitations.