"I can't leave him because of the kids"
Do you have a girl friend or just know someone who says this line "I can't leave him because of the kids" ?
I have this friend, she's married. Her husband is cheating, and has cheated over and over again, when we talk I always tell her, you could leave, you know? Every time this topic comes up, she always respond that she could not leave because it would devastate her children (her children are aged 20 and 14) and it would damage them and would be really hard for them to deal with.
Do you believe in this line? What about her, though? Doesn't she deserve to be happy too? Is it true that her children won't be able to handle it?
She cries to me almost every time we see each other, and I'm so tired of hearing her pain because she just says the same thing over and over again, but she's my friend and I want to be there for her at the same time. What do you guys think?
Should she leave or not?
If ever I found out my husband has been cheating on me for a long time already, I wouldn't think twice about leaving him. And that would be my answer to your question as well. I know it is going to be pretty difficult for her, but she needs to get out of that unhealthy relationship/marriage now. Her children are already old enough to understand anyway. It would just devastate the kids even more if they see their parents unhappy together.
When it comes to cheating problem in a marriage relationship the spouse who had been cheated on had different point of views when it comes to this thing. There are those who chose to stay in the relationship while there are those who will just leave and get out into the relationship. Maybe they had their own reasons and sometimes the children really plays an important role why the spouse that had been cheated on chose to stay and cannot leave the spouse who is cheating. I knew some married couple whose relationship had been tested with this cheating problem but still are together. I think it is just a matter of acceptance. In fact I had a relative whose husband had another woman and had a child but my relative and their children had accepted the child. That is why I think it depends upon the point of views of a person and their acceptance to the many circumstances that they had encountered in their life.
Most women I know would say that line – wouldn’t separate for the sake of the kids. Those martyrs of yore should have been gone by now because the modern woman is bull strong and has a sound disposition in life. Unfortunately, the martyrs of yore are still here. I know of several cases where the husband has 2 concubines (that makes a total of 3 women) but the wife couldn’t do a thing. Her only reply to our queries is that she would leave the house when her children reach the age of majority. Tsk, tsk, what a pathetic situation.
There are a lot of situations where the divorce would be more useful than staying together "just for the sake of the family".
Especially if abusive behavior is involved, my mother herself grew up in a household where the parents stayed together just for the kids, and she always says that she wishes her parents would have divorced instead of all the sadness and arguments she had to live trough.
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