Wow, it seem to me that you have posted this thread by mistake but it caught my attention pretty well. Women here have deep thoughts over matter that we tend to just shake it off. I can almost feel the pain that you have been through but at the same time reading about your attitude and positive vibe gave me some sense of realization that things are actually happening and changing. Nothing is permanent, not even love and pain. ( well, at least that's what it sounds like). You are right about owning the responsibility over personal happiness. Nothing will ever change in the past, even if you do or not do something. But doing something in the present can make a lot of difference from NOW to onward.
Good luck on starting a new life. I wish nothing but the best of everything for you.